A dad's perspective on 2006 (the first 10 months)

Well I finally have some time (thanks Erin) to sit down and write about 2006 and my first year (10 months) of being a father. First off I have to say that I thought this would be a piece of cake. Well maybe not that easy but I thought that life would change but not that much. Well I will be the first to say that I did not know SHIT. What the heck was I thinking? Becoming a father has been the most amazing experience of my life and most likely will always be the most amazing experience that will continue till the day that I pass. With that being said, life is just not about me anymore. This aspect of being a father is probably the biggest for any father to realize and let go of. I still struggle with the fact that my time is not mine anymore. Erin and Evan remind me of this daily and some days I am a very good listener and other days, I just suck which I pay for later as every father knows.

Evan is amazing. The first three months go by with little sleep and most of the time you are in a fog. Now my fog is low lying and I can poke my head out most of the time and see what is going on. Erin’s fog is about 20 feet tall and I have to admit it is pretty tough to ever get out of that fog when Evan is so dependant on Erin. Erin seems to be a natural at motherhood as I am sure most mothers are but I will say this that Erin is an AMAZING MOTHER and I know that Evan will be a great son and person because of all the time and patience that Erin has shown. So Erin wades through the fog while I head to work.

As usual I will skip around in my thoughts as this is the way that they are in my head and it is easier to type them out than organize them then type them out.

I thought that my job is tough. I go to work and try to solve everyone’s problems all day long which at times is very overwhelming, frustrating and difficult. I have to say after being home for 12 days over Christmas that taking care of Evan is a lot more work. At least at work I can not answer the phones or emails and focus on something else for a little while till I get my head screwed on again. At home you can not do that as Evan kindly reminds you that “hey buddy I am still here and I want some attention”

3 months to 9 months were pretty good with Evan. He would sleep from about 8 till after I was at work so I was able to get a lot of sleep and life was pretty good. Evan was growing more hair, was able to roll over, was able to sit up, was standing with help from mom and dad, and was saying “DA DA” which I think everything is the world was “DA DA”. You could see in his eyes that he was starting to figure things out. He started to eat solid foods and this of course changes other things which at first were disgusting but you get used to it. I had to throw in some POOP comment along the way.

9 months on have been another story. Evan is now furniture walking which in itself is very cool and interesting to watch but at the same time means that you just can not leave the room anymore. I remember the first time I thought that it was fine to just open the fridge to put away the juice while he was standing. I was only 3 feet away from him and he had been standing holding onto the MEGA Bloc’s chest for 5 minutes already so what was another 2 seconds. Next thing you know, Evan is hitting the hard wood floor and Erin hears this from down stairs. Lucky for Evan the “CROPP GENES” make for a very hard head which lucky for Evan is harder than the hard wood floors. Yes I am hard headed as well. Just ask Erin. 9 months and on, have also meant a big change in the teeth (tooth) department. Evan started to cut his first tooth just before my Christmas holidays and as any parent knows, good luck in getting any sleep when this happens. The baby gates are now up on the main floor as he is also a rolling machine. He just does not want to crawl which thank goodness has been a blessing in disguise. We have never had to chase him around but I have a feeling that in early 2007, I will be running around the house trying to catch the little guy. He is also abnormally strong (well we think he is) as sometimes he will pick up items that are the same weights as he is and he is not that light. While we were at Grandma and Grandpa Cropp’s (mom and dad’s) place over Christmas they have this brass decorative rail in front of the fireplace that is about 4 foot long and about 8 inches tall. The little guy pulled it off of the tile and almost onto himself. This has to weigh more than him but somehow once he had his hands on it, it was going to move to wear he wanted it to be.

The best part about being a father has to be the way that Evan now looks at me. All you fathers know this look. He looks me right in the eye and smiles. Lucky for me Evan is a very very happy guy and I get to see this smile a lot during the day. He loves being up on my shoulders and Erin has named this “Evan’s happy place” I think he just likes being taller than everyone or maybe it is a different perspective on the world that he does not normally get. Holding Evan in my arms is probably the second best thing in the world. Especially when it is bed time and he starts to fall asleep. He looks up at me as if to almost ask for permission to fall asleep, I smile at him, he turns back into me and falls asleep. It is a great feeling to be holding this amazing gift in my arms.

Evan, I look forward to becoming a better father and learning more from you in 2007. I love you with all my heart and when you are old enough to read this, that love will only be stronger. I LOVE YOU SON!